Opening a relationship
The conversations before, during, and after. Not a verdict on whether it's a good idea, but real room to think it through with someone who isn't quietly hoping you'll stop.
Sex-positive & kink-friendly therapy
A sex-positive, kink-friendly therapist in Austin, in person and online across Texas
Therapy where your relationship structure and your desires aren't the diagnosis. Affirming of polyamory, ethical non-monogamy, and kink.
Emily Satel, LPC
Your relationships aren't the symptom
A lot of people who are poly, kinky, or simply not living by the default script have had the same experience in a therapy room: they mention it, and watch the whole conversation reorganize around it. Suddenly the anxiety they came in for is being traced back to their relationship structure, and they spend the hour defending a life they weren't asking about.
That isn't therapy. That's a therapist working from a script of their own.
Sex-positive and kink-friendly means I'm not going to do that. Your relationships and your desires are context I take as given, the same as any other part of your life. If they're what you want to work on, good, we'll work on them. If they're not, they can just be true in the background while we get to what you actually came for.
What we might work on
Some of the threads that come up most. We follow whichever ones matter to you, and plenty of clients are here for something else entirely.
Jealousy, and what sits under it
Jealousy is information, not a moral failure. Usually it points at something older: an attachment wound, an unspoken need, a fear that predates this relationship entirely.
Shame about desire
Where it came from, whose voice it uses, and what it costs you. Most people carry a script about sex they never actually agreed to.
Kink and the fear of being seen
The particular loneliness of having a part of yourself you've decided is unspeakable. It gets to be spoken here.
Coming out as poly or kinky
To family, to friends, to a partner who might not take it well. The logistics and the grief both.
Agreements and repair
What you actually want, what you actually agreed to, and what happens when those come apart. Structures work better when they're built from honesty than from fear.
Shame is learned
I don't believe you're broken. I believe your mind and body adapted in remarkably intelligent ways to help you survive, and shame is one of those adaptations. It usually shows up early, from a family or a church or a culture that made something about you feel dangerous to reveal. Hiding worked. It kept you safe.
The trouble is that it keeps working long after the danger is gone, and it doesn't know how to tell the difference between a hostile room and a safe one. So it hides you from people who would have been glad to know you.
We go slowly with that. Alongside talk therapy I draw on somatic, body-based approaches, Internal Family Systems (IFS), attachment theory, psychodynamic therapy, and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). IFS is often a good fit here, because it gives you a way to meet the part of you that hides without having to fight it.
A note on scope
Sex-positive, and what that does and doesn't mean
Sex-positive and kink-friendly describe a stance, not a credential. It means I won't pathologize your desires, your kink, or how you structure your relationships, and you won't have to justify any of it to me. It doesn't mean I'm a certified sex therapist: I'm a Licensed Professional Counselor, and this is individual psychotherapy. If what you need is specialized sexual health or sex therapy, or medical care, I'd rather point you toward the right person than stretch to fit.
This is individual work. I see one person at a time rather than couples or groups, which means we look at your experience of your relationships rather than mediating between the people in them.
Sessions & logistics
- Format In person & online South Austin, plus virtual across Texas
- Length 50 minutes Typically weekly to start
- Fee $175 / session Limited sliding scale when available
- Insurance Out-of-network Superbills provided for reimbursement
You'll receive a Texas Good Faith Estimate before we begin. This is part of individual therapy, not a separate program or fee, and it's available in person in South Austin or online across Texas. My practice is also LGBTQ+ affirming.